Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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