Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
