I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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