Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
thus making me awesome and them whores
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
