But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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