That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
