So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.