Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.