i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
