Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize