to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Come share oat with me in your robe
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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