Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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