alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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