He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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