Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
