Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
