fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Fuck appropriateness.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize