She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
