just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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