Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
