1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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