I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
