cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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