let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Houston, we have a squirter
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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