but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
