babies were throwing up all over the place
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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