At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i will never coherently bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize