Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
