i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
