yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
