Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
