You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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