His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
