I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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