I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
