Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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