I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
