You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
