is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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