dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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