he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
