Define "chronic" masturbator.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
