god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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