WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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