I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
