I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
