What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
