I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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