I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
