Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
it was like eating out sand paper
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
