what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
