Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
