What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize