Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
