remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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