Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
foreskin is a definite game changer
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
