Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
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If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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