and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
